Reflections

As I sit here in the quiet of my house on the last school day of the first week of school I am lead to reflect.

This year has gone by so fast. I know everyone says that. There have been days that I thought were never going to end but then I look up and an entire month has gone by or so it seems. Where does the time go? How does it get away so quickly?

So as I sit here by myself, in the quiet, with no one else about, I am left to wonder what comes next? What will this new school year bring? And how will what came before shape that? My kids are growing and changing. My oldest is in 7th grade this year. When a friend commented that "she couldn't believe Jessie was in 7th grade" I had to concur. It was a bit of a jolt to me to send her out the door on her first day realizing we have passed the middle. We are now on the downhill slide to her independence. In two years I will be sending her out the door to high school. Six years from now I will be sending her out the door to COLLEGE. Some will say, but you knew this was going to happen. To which I would have to say yes I did know but I thought, at the ripe old age of 22, as I held her in arms, that it would be okay. It is what is expected after all. But now, when faced with reality, it is a little harder than I thought. I have discovered that time moves too fast and I am not getting the quality time I expected. I am a stay at home mom so it would seem that I would have all the quality time in the world but that is simply not the case. There is a communication gap between my daughter and I and it is getting larger rather than smaller.

So as I sit here I wonder what the future will bring and I think back to the past when my children were smaller, when a snuggle and kiss were all that was needed to get them to obey, when every conversation did not degrade into an argument because, frankly, I was the only one who was able to talk. As my three grow and change and yes, move on, I am left to wonder, what will happen next? Where will I go and what will I do? How can I help them become the people I want them to be?

Hmmm quiet and reflection, what an interesting combination.