Friday, June 12, 2009

Decisions, Decisions

So I have had a few hours of complete peace and quiet. My children are all elsewhere and my sweetie is at work earning us a living so I have had the house to myself.

As mothers we yearn for these times. We work hard to get them. But then when they arrive how do we spend them. Trying to decide how to spend them. Well, maybe you don't but I do. I worry about wasting my free time. I dream about ways to use it wisely and get the most bang for my quiet buck. Then reality sets in as it has today. In two hours I will go pick up one of the children so I will no longer be completely free. Of course since that child is the oldest one and she has been at a "sleep"over all night with one of her BFFs, the reality is that she will be more zombie than person until tomorrow morning, so it is sure to still be fairly quiet around here. But nevertheless I feel a little like I have squandered my time.

Yesterday after dropping Jessie off I stopped at the girls' school. I spent most of my 5 hours of free time over there helping. A good use of time really but what about doing something for me? So my sweetie and I went to dinner together, alone, last night and then came home to an empty house. So what did we do? Did our children's animal care chores and then sat with our computers in our laps until the news came on. This morning I slept in then read my book for at least an hour before getting up. There are so many things I could have been doing, even should have been doing but I did none of those things. Is this a good use of my free time? Tomorrow we are off and running again and there will be no time to scrapbook, bead, sit and stare out the window, garden, shop, or any of the multitude of other things I could do with my free time.

So was what I did a waste of my free time? I don't know. What I do know is that I felt good about helping where I did yesterday at school because the teachers have the monumental task of moving every single room around because of changes we are making in configuration and layout of the school. I did something good by giving up my free time to help for a while. And I did something good for me by staying in bed this morning, enjoying the chance to do some extra sleeping and reading. Should I have gotten up, gone for a walk, gotten the garden planted or cleaned a room, sure, but where is the fun in work when you don't have to.

Now though it is time to get with it. I have tomato plants to purchase, a garden to plant, animals to care for, dessert to make for tomorrow, a child to pick up, a car wash fundraiser to prepare for and on it goes so until next time, I say enjoy your moments when you can get them doing whatever it is you want to do because they are fleeting and we get so few of them. Make you a priority if for only a few moments before jumping back into that to-do list.

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