Thursday, April 23, 2009


How is the question of the day.

How did I survive my children's babyhood years on so little sleep? We had an interrupted night of sleep around here last night and I am just dragging this morning. I feel like I have been drugged. In fact, it feels a little bit like when I was on the mag sulfate for the preeclampsia just prior to David's birth. So seriously if I feel like this today, after only one night, is it any wonder that all of us have such blurred memories of when our little ones were newborns?

How can one little virus wreak so much havoc on an entire family?

How can we go from 80 degrees on Monday to 55 today?

How can the state economy be so messed up and how can politicians think it is a good idea to solve the mess on the backs of children, sacrificing both their educations and their recreation.

How can it be nearly the end of April already?

How do other people get their children to listen, be respectful and do what they are told or what is expected? Okay, this is the biggie for today. I have complained about the discipline issues that run rampant in my house before either here in the blog or to various forums on DWLZ and Scrapshare. So what gives? How do other parents get respectful, responsible children? I had several people recommend the book "A New Kid by Friday" By Dr. Lehman the last time I went off on a rant about my kids and our issues so I got it and I read it. I think I understand the concepts because truly they are not that hard but how does one go about implementing them. I don't get it. The say it once and walk away thing sounds so good. But if I say it once and walk away, they go about their business, playing, goofing off and nary a chore gets done. No homework would ever make it back to school. He discusses B not happening until A is done but there so rarely is a B around here. We don't have requests to go to little Suzie's or to the roller rink or whatever. We are homebodies. We watch TV, way, way to much TV. Yes I admit to being a TV junkie. There is no doubt. So taking TV away is as much a punishment for me as it is for them but if it is on, they do nothing. I, on the other hand, can do all kinds of things while it is on. But TV is not the focus here.

So what is the focus, you may ask? The focus is how does this plan work if the main conflict with the children is them not doing what they are told? It seems that this plan gives them license to just ignore their responsibilities and go about their own business then nothing gets done. Miss Em spent 3 hours dinking around with homework that should have been finished in less than 30 minutes. Why did this happen? Because she would not just sit and stay focused on the task. So, please someone tell me how does the "tell em once and walk away" thing work in that situation. I must be missing a vital part of this plan. My children are masters at ignoring the things they do not want to do. They are masters of misdirection.

So seriously, how do others parent their children into respectful, responsible behavior? Because from where I sit right now, I am the worst parent in the world.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Cali, you are NOT the worst parent, not even close! Kids are kids! I don't have all the answers, but my advice to you is find their "currency" & USE IT! If that means the TV is taken away from that child, well then so be it. Only you know what works for your children & also, you need to remember what works for one won't necessarily be what works for another. My 2 oldest kids are MAJOR social "butterflies", rarely are they here without a friend or two. That is MAJOR currency here. All I have to do is threaten to take friends away & they do whatever they are told (& usually with little to no "attitude"). My youngest DS, threaten to take away the ps3 & he snaps back into shape. All homework is to be done AS SOON AS THEY GET HOME FROM SCHOOL PERIOD! They can have a snack while they are doing homework. No homework completed, NOTHING else gets done, no outside, no TV, no basketball, NOTHING. That seems to work here.

    Just remember to be consistent, it will take time, but you're a great mom & they'll grow up to be great kids/adults! Hang in there!